Hello Everyone,  

The focus for this months newsletter is ‘Personal and Professional Relationships’. This month’s newsletter provides you with a number of articles that explores relationships – personal, professional, and our relationship with ourselves.

The article from the Harvard Business School focuses on the most intense relationship of all – marriage. As Frederick Buechner said ‘You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.’

‘There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.’
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
 

Gerard O’Donovan (CEO of the ECI) has contributed an article entitled ‘Who am I?’ which he describes as ‘the question that is the gateway to spiritual enlightenment’. In this article, Gerard explores our relationship with ourselves. In her article, Marcia Lenglet discusses the professional’s inner boundary and the professional’s outer boundary.

Henry Winkler said ‘Assumptions are the termites of relationships.’ As coaches we are aware of the impact of making assumptions and what this can do to a coaching conversation, but how aware are we of the assumptions we make in our every day lives? Marcel Proust said ‘Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.’ How often do we reflect on those around us and thank them for the things that they do to make us happy?

‘Sticks and stones are hard on bones
Aimed with angry art,
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart.’
Phyllis McGinley, "Ballade of Lost Objects," 1954

Thank you to those who sent in an email about the Newsletter Editors position, and although we are still looking for an Editor and Newsletter Team, we will be in touch with you all. Should you still wish to express an interest in joining this team, please do not hesitate to contact us. For this month’s newsletter I would like to sincerely thank the IT and Operations team – John, David and Tricia – without whom there would be no publication this month.

Finally a request – if you have articles that you wish to publish, as Gerard and Rene did, please send them in. We would be delighted to include the in a future newsletter. Thank you to our valued readers – as always your feedback, comments and ideas are welcome.
 

A Conversation with Psychologist John M. Gottman by Diane Coutu.

The best science we have on relationships comes from the most intense relationship of all
—marriage. Here’s what we know about it.

It has become common to extol the value of human relationships in the workplace. We all agree that managers need to connect deeply with followers to ensure outstanding performance, and we celebrate leaders who have the emotional intelligence to engage and inspire their people by creating bonds that are authentic and reliable. There’s a large and fast-growing support industry to help us develop our “softer” relationship skills; many CEOs hire executive coaches, and libraries of self-help books detail how best to build and manage relationships on the way to the top.

Despite all the importance attached to interpersonal dynamics in the workplace, however, surprisingly little hard scientific evidence identifies what makes or breaks work relationships. We know, for instance, that the personal chemistry between a mentor and his or her protégé is critical to that relationship’s success, but we don’t try to work out what the magic is, at least not in any rigorous way. The absence of hard data and painstaking analysis exacts a heavy price: When relationships sour, as they easily can, there’s little guidance on what you can do to patch things up. Even the best human resources officers may not know how or when to stage an intervention. If companies were more effective in helping executives handle their relationships through difficult times, they would see the company’s productivity soar and find it much easier to retain leadership talent.

But if there’s little research on relationships at work, some is beginning to emerge on relationships at home. That’s good news because the way that people manage their work relationships is closely linked to the way they manage their personal ones. People who are abusive at home, for example, are likely to be abusive at work. If you believe that—as most psychologists do—then the relevance of the work of those who study relationships at home immediately becomes obvious.

Few people can tell us more about how to maintain good personal relationships than John M. Gottman, the executive director of the Relationship Research Institute. At the institute’s Family Research Laboratory—known as the Love Lab—Gottman has been studying marriage and divorce for the past 35 years. He has screened thousands of couples, interviewed them, and tracked their interactions over time. He and his colleagues use video cameras, heart monitors, and other biofeedback equipment to measure what goes on when couples experience moments of conflict and closeness. By mathematically analyzing the data, Gottman has generated hard scientific evidence on what makes good relationships.

HBR senior editor Diane Coutu went to the Seattle headquarters of the Relationship Research Institute to discuss that evidence with Gottman and to ask about the implications of his research for the work environment. As a scientist, he refuses to extrapolate beyond his research on couples to relationships in the workplace. The media have sensationalized his work, he says. However, he was willing to talk freely about what makes for good relationships in our personal lives. Successful couples, he notes, look for ways to accentuate the positive. They try to say “yes” as often as possible. That doesn’t mean good relationships have no room for conflict. On the contrary, individuals in thriving relationships embrace conflict over personality differences as a way to work them through. Gottman adds that good relationships aren’t about clear communication—they’re about small moments of attachment and intimacy.

It takes time and work to make such moments part of the fabric of everyday life. Gottman discusses these and other nuances of his wisdom, acquired from experience and research, in this edited version of Coutu’s conversation with him.

You’re said to be able to predict, in a very short amount of time and with a high degree of accuracy, whether couples will stay together for the long term. How do you manage that?

Let me put it this way: If I had three hours with a couple, and if I could interview them and tape them interacting—in positive ways as well as in conflict—then I would say that I could predict a couple’s success rate for staying together in the next three to five years with more than 90% accuracy. I’ve worked with 3,000 couples over 35 years, and the data support this claim, which have now been replicated by other scientists.

Could you train me to decide whether I should hire Dick or Jane?

I know this question has come up in the media, which have tried to sex up my work. But the reliability you see in my research has to do with studying relationships specifically. Just to predict whether an interviewee would be a good fit for a job—you couldn’t do it. At least I know I couldn’t do it. I rely on my research to be able to look at couples. And even with couples, I need to witness a sample interaction. The more emotional and the more realistic the situation is, the better I am at predicting with a high level of accuracy.

For instance, one test we’ve used for years is the “paper tower task.” We give couples a bunch of materials, such as newspaper, scissors, Scotch tape, and string. We tell them to go build a paper tower that is freestanding, strong, and beautiful, and they have half an hour to do it. Then we watch the way the couples work. It’s the very simple things that determine success. One time we had three Australian couples do the task. Beforehand, we had the couples talk on tape about each other and about a major conflict in their relationship that they were trying to resolve. So we had some data about how relatively happy or unhappy they were. When one couple who came across as happy started building their paper tower, the man said, “So, how are we going to do this?” The woman replied, “You know, we can fold the paper, we can turn the paper, we can make structures out of the paper.” He said, “Really? Great.” It took them something like ten seconds to build a tower. The wife in an unhappily married couple started by saying, “So how are we going to do this?” Her husband said, “Just a minute, can you be quiet while I figure out the design?” It didn’t take much time to see that this couple would run into some difficulties down the line.

Your work depends heavily on your interviewing technique. How did you develop it?

My hero was Studs Terkel. I think he’s by far the greatest interviewer ever. Bill Moyers is good. Barbara Walters is very good, too, but Terkel is amazing. In one interview, he went into a woman’s attic and said to her, “Give me a tour, tell me what’s up here.” He had a big cigar in his mouth, but he was really interested. Acting as the tour guide, she said, “Well, I don’t talk much about this doll.” Terkel pointed out that it was not a new doll. “No,” she said, “my first fiancé gave me this doll, before he was killed in a car accident. He was the only man I’ve ever loved.” Surprised, Terkel remarked, “You’re a grandmother; you must have married.” She replied, “Yeah, and I love my husband, but just not like I loved Jack.” The woman then launched into a great monologue, prompted by Terkel. We studied his tapes and based our interview technique on his approach.

What’s your biggest discovery?

It sounds simple, but in fact you could capture all of my research findings with the metaphor of a saltshaker. Instead of filling it with salt, fill it with all the ways you can say yes, and that’s what a good relationship is. “Yes,” you say, “that is a good idea.” “Yes, that’s a great point, I never thought of that.” “Yes, let’s do that if you think it’s important.” You sprinkle yeses throughout your interactions—that’s what a good relationship is. This is particularly important for men, whose ability to accept influence from women is really one of the most critical issues in a relationship. Marriages where the men say to their partners, “Gee, that’s a good point” or “Yeah, I guess we could do that” are much more likely to succeed. In contrast, in a partnership that’s troubled, the saltshaker is filled with all the ways you can say no. In violent relationships, for example, we see men responding to their wives’ requests by saying, “No way,” “It’s just not going to happen,” “You’re not going to control me,” or simply “Shut up.” When a man is not willing to share power with his wife, our research shows, there is an 81% chance that the marriage will self-destruct.

Does that mean that there’s no room for conflict in a good relationship?

Absolutely not. Having a conflict-free relationship does not mean having a happy one, and when I tell you to say yes a lot, I’m not advising simple compliance. Agreement is not the same as compliance, so if people think they’re giving in all the time, then their relationships are never going to work. There are conflicts that you absolutely must have because to give in is to give up some of your personality.

Let me explain by illustrating from personal experience. My wife is very bad at just sitting still and doing nothing. A couple of years ago I gave her a book called The Art of Doing Nothing. She never read it. She always has to be up and about doing things. I’m not like that. I don’t multitask the way she does; if I take a day off, I want it to be a day off. I want to play music; I want to have a sense of leisure. We fight about this difference all the time. She wants me to do stuff around the house, and I want her to take it easy. And it’s worth fighting about this because it’s an important personality difference between us. I don’t want to adopt her style, and she doesn’t want to adopt mine.

Another common issue in many relationships is punctuality. People have huge differences in their attitudes toward it and fight about it constantly. And they should—because unless you do, you can’t arrive at an understanding of your differences, which means you can’t work out how to live with them.

What else do people in relationships fight about?

I actually analyzed about 900 arguments last summer. With the help of the lab staff, I interviewed people about their fights—we saw them fighting in the lab and then outside the lab, and we talked about the issue. What we learned from measuring all these interactions is that most people fight about nothing. Their fights are not about money, or sex, or in-laws—none of that stuff. The vast majority of conflicts are about the way people in the relationship fight. One fight we studied was about a remote control. The couple was watching television, and the man said, “OK, let me see what’s on,” and started channel surfing. At one point the woman said, “Wait, leave it on that program, it’s kind of interesting.” He replied, “OK, but first let me see what else is on.” She kept objecting until he finally said, “Fine, here!” and handed her the remote. She bristled and said, “The way you said ‘fine,’ that kind of hurt my feelings.” He shot back with, “You’ve always got to have it your way.” It may seem really elementary, but that’s what people fight about. Unfortunately, most of these issues never get resolved at all. Most couples don’t go back and say, “You know, we should really discuss that remote control issue.” They don’t try to repair the relationship. But repair is the sine qua non of relationships, so everybody needs to know how to process those regrettable moments.

I want to stress that good relationships are not just about knowing when to fight and how to patch things up. We also need humor, affection, playing, silliness, exploration, adventure, lust, touching—all those positive emotional things that we share with all mammals. Something that’s been so hard for me to convey to the media is that trivial moments provide opportunities for profound connection. For example, if you’re giving your little kid a bath and he splashes and you’re impatient, you miss an opportunity to play with him. But if you splash back and you clean up later, you have some fun together and you both get really wet, laugh, and have a beautiful moment. It’s ephemeral, small, even trivial—yet it builds trust and connection. In couples who divorce or who live together unhappily, such small moments of connection are rare.

We can’t splash around at work. Are there equivalent ways to achieve connections there?

There are many similar things you can do in a work environment. You can go into your friend David’s office and say, “How’s little Harry doing?” And he might say, “You know, he really likes his new school. He’s excited by it, and in fact you know what he’s doing now…?” The conversation might take five or ten minutes, but you’ve made a connection. This goes for the boss, too. A lot of times the person who’s running an organization is pretty lonely, and if somebody walks into her office and doesn’t talk about work but instead asks about her weekend, the message is, “Hey, I like you. I notice you independent of your position.” Within organizations, people have to see each other as human beings or there will be no social glue.

What about intimate relationships at work—thumbs up or down?

That can be really problematic. Marriage researcher Shirley Glass did some terrific work on friendship in the workplace. She gave this wonderful example of a man who hadn’t had sex for a long time. He and his wife had a new baby and were fighting a lot. Then after work one day, he and his coworkers went out to celebrate a really successful quarter at the company. Everybody had a good time. People eventually started to go home, but this man and a female coworker lingered. They were talking about the excellent fourth quarter earnings, and she said, “You know, George, this is the happiest I’ve seen you in months.” Nothing untoward was happening, but he was enjoying the conversation in a way that he hadn’t with his wife in a long time. So on the way home, he thought to himself, “You know, we laughed and shared a lot, and it was kind of intimate, and I should really go home and say, ‘Nancy, I’m really kind of worried because I just had a conversation with a woman at work, and I felt closer to her than I’ve felt to you in months, and it scares the hell out of me, and we need to talk.’” But he knew exactly how his wife would react. She’d tell him to grow up and would say, “Hey, I have this baby sucking at my teats and now you’re being a baby, too. I don’t need this kind of crap from you, so just suck it up and get on with it. You’re a new father, and quit having those conversations with that woman at work.” So he decided not to share the experience with his wife because, he thought, “Nothing really happened anyway.” But something did happen, and now he’s got a secret. That’s the beginning of betrayal.

 

Be your own best client

Take the quality of life check test. How many circles can you tick?

• Am I taking extremely good care of myself?
• Do I take time out of my schedule every week just for me?
• Does my schedule reflect my priorities?
• Am I tolerating any person, place or thing that is draining my energy?
• Am I living within my means, saving and investing consistently?
• Am I fuelling my body, mind and spirit with premium sources of fuel?
• Am I strengthening my soulful connections with important relationships?
• Am I consistent with my spiritual practice?

I hope that you have all been enjoying winter; I can certainly say that I am pining for summer. This winter has been exceptionally nippy to the extent that at some point I could not bear it and decided to find refuge in the Summer of Thailand. What a wonderful experience, after doing some work I decided to spend 6 days on the Island of Phuket. Wow how magical, I remember thinking about the winter back home and mostly just how wonderful our world really is, on the one side of the globe you have this chilling winter and on the other side this dramatic summer...

I am an avid traveller and always look for excuses to go abroad, it makes me feel satisfied and alive and alerts me to the possibilities that exist when we truly embrace life and live, just live.

So I will share one of my most memorable days in Phuket with you. We booked an excursion that takes tourists to 3 of the most beautiful and quaint islands, I was struck by the beauty. One of the first islands that we stopped at had families of monkeys that live on the island, the island is protected and the monkeys are all too eager to entertain the tourist stops. Our captain offered us fresh fruit to feed to the monkeys and as we got onto the island they came to us and gladly accepted our gifts. It was the most amazing site, it really warmed my heart and mostly amazed me that there were monkeys that lived on an island in this beautiful world of ours...

The second island was a quaint island also protected and there we were able to snorkel with the most beautiful fish, for those that were to afraid of going into the water the treat was as magnificent as they were able to stand on the side of the board and view this spectacular site from the top. It was the most magical experience, snorkelling with these beautiful tropical fish, who were not really bothered by us, but allowed us to be a part of their world for a few hours.

The third island was that of Phi-phi, the boat stopped there so that we could have our lunch. I was in a daze by the beauty, they served us a buffet lunch and later we were able to continue with our snorkelling and also engage in some negotiating skills while shopping for trinkets and wares.

The day was magnificent and when I sit and think about the experience, I cannot help but long to be a part of that exquisite beauty again soon.

Upon returning from that trip I realised that when we are in our comfort zone, we rarely venture out and I decided to make a commitment and find some social joy every Friday. To date I have managed my commitment very well, I even ventured out one Wednesday and realised that there is much to see in our beautiful country. Thailand truly created a newness that travelled with me to Johannesburg, and I am learning so much.

Lesson: When you feel that you are stagnating the power is within you to go out and try something new, whether this for you is travel, dancing, listening to a new CD and dancing the night away by yourself, whatever it is that you choose, I guarantee you that it will help to lift you a level and bring you new joy! It does not have to be anything big, just take a small risk and do something new, it will make the world of difference to where you are.

That brings me to my conclusion on the book that I am reading at the moment “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. Well that is the new book that I started reading last night, and I will share with you my lessons in the next newsletter!

Find blessings and freshness in the newness that you create this month!

Coaching question: What one thing will you commit to this month that will create newness in your life and make you feel alive in this world of endless possibilities?

Speak to OutsourcedHR about a tailor made human resources solutionTalent Management /HR Policy development /Recruitment /Coaching & Mentoring /Learning & Development.
 

Rene Sickle
Chief Executive Officer
OutsourcedHR (Pty) Ltd
Physical Address:
94 Bekker Rd, Building 20,1st Floor,
Thornhill Office Park, Midrand
Office Telephone: 011 564 2300 (Ext. 1076)
Mobile Telephone: 083-4444551

Having been a coach for many years, in addition to having been involved in the training of at least 1400 coaches worldwide, I have come to the conclusion that one of the greatest skills that we, as coaches, possess and need to perfect is the ‘art of the question’. In fact, one could say that another definition of a coach is Master Questioner.

It is important to remember that the quality of our life is determined by the quality of questions we ask ourselves. Some people ask themselves very mediocre questions indeed. For example, “What time shall we go to down the pub?” Others look at someone who has achieved great things and ask themselves “Why not me?”. It is similar to the difference between “I can’t afford it” and “How can I afford it?”

As coaches we have two responsibilities towards our client. The first is to provide them with a first-class coaching experience through the effective use of questioning skills. The second is to educate them in the techniques and benefits of self-questioning, helping them to realise the importance of regularly asking key questions.

Of course when it comes to asking questions we can get very sophisticated and clever indeed. We can use questions with suppositions and presuppositions. We can use open and closed questions, we can get involved in nested loops, we can use hidden questions and open questions and in fact we can make ourselves feel and look very clever indeed.

However I learned a long time ago the importance of simplicity and it is my opinion that the greatest coaching question of all is “Who am I?”

This question is very often ignored. Why? Because it is easy to ignore; it can take us on an uncomfortable journey and one we might prefer to avoid. And yet it is essential if we wish to understand our core, the real person, the immutable, incorruptible and authentic ‘me’. The “me” we are really meant to be.

This question is the one that helps people come to a deep and satisfying realization of who they really are. So this is one of the key questions that we must teach our clients to ask of themselves on a regular basis. ‘Who am I?’ Again and again.

True happiness and fulfilment in life is only achieved when our actions and goals are congruent with our core values. Yet the sad truth is most of us do not really know what our core values are. Unfortunately we take on board the values of others, the values that are impressed upon us by the media that constantly bombards us, and the values of the people we work with and the companies we work for. It is rare that the values that we attach to ourselves are our true values. The inner conflict that this creates is one of the underlying causes for the level of unhappiness and depression in today’s society.

You see our values are in fact the mirror of who we really are yet few of us look deep enough into the mirror to see the truth. Many thousand years ago there was a word written above a doorway in ancient Greece. The word was “ Knosti” and it was written above the doorway of the Delphic oracle. It is as true today as it ever was those thousands of years ago. It simply means “ know thyself”

There is an old adage that says that if you don't know where you're coming from then you don't know where you're going. The same is true here, if you don't know who you really are how can you possibly know what you really want out of life, what is truly important and how do you know where you are headed. I learned a long time ago that most people don't really know what they want in life, but are prepared to go through hell to get it !!!

Being able to answer the question “Who am I?” with clarity and honesty will start the process that will make a profound change in the direction your life takes. This in turn will affect those close to you; your family, your friends, and your work. The way to make a real change in the world today is simply to do it one person, one mind at a time. Start with the person who is closest to you - yourself of course!

HOW DO I ASK THE QUESTION?

It is important that when we ask ourselves the question “Who am I?” we allow time for the answers to come. The truth may have to percolate up through a number of layers, and this takes time. You may have to ask yourself this question a number of times. For example, you may ask “Who am I?” and the answer may come back ‘I am a teacher’, ‘I am an electrician’, ‘I am a solicitor’ etc. The truth is you are none of these things. You see you are not what you do! You are far more than that.

So when you ask yourself the question “Who am I?” and you get an answer, you may then need to ask again “and who else am I?” And again “Who else am I?”.

It is morally essential that we eventually find out who we are. So many of us wander through life in a kind of emotional and spiritual amnesia, deadening our response to life by producing images of ourselves that are far from the truth.

I recommend that when we engage in this important process that we do it in a place of solitude and stillness in order that we can be truly present for the answer. We cannot really experience anything without being present with it. True presence requires that we be attentive to what is happening in the here and now. It is our responsibility to be aware.

EXERCISES

EXERCISE ONE – Six months to live

Imagine that you have just come back from a visit to your doctor where you have been informed that you have an incurable disease and only six months to live. However, during these 6 months you will be perfectly healthy, fit and active. Now write down what you would do, who you would see, where you would go and, very important, who you would spend your time with - and why. Would you change any aspect of your life right now? Would you continue to work in your job/career?

If not, why not?

Explanation: This should very clearly point you in the direction of what is important or even essential in your life. It is so easy to procrastinate but you need to attend to these things right now. It is obvious that these things are extremely important to you, so you should endeavour to achieve them as soon as possible – as a matter of urgency.

EXERCISE TWO - Direction

This exercise will provide you with excellent pointers towards the direction in life in which you should be heading. It is important that you sit quietly with pen and paper, and write clear, specific answers to the following questions. Do not be influenced by others, or let negative thoughts distort your answers. Please give due time and consideration to this exercise; it is not uncommon for its completion to take several hours.
 

1. Imagine that there are no barriers whatsoever to you achieving anything you want in life, what and where would you most want to be? Would you be President? An opera singer? Perhaps a great athlete, or successful businessperson?
2. What in the past has given you the most satisfaction and pleasure?
3. The following list of words generally encompasses what we desire in our life.

Write clearly your own definition of what each word means to YOU.

Wealth
Happiness
Health
Success

Explanation: If you do not really know what it is you want in life, then how can you possibly achieve it? The answers you provide in this exercise will lie at the very heart of your final goal list. They will guide you towards what makes you happy and has true value in your life.



WHO AM I AT WORK?
However, what price has been paid by these decision-making men and women?

Like so many others in similar scenarios being played out in corporations all around the world, these individuals are subjugating their own values for those of the company they work for. If only they would ask themselves “Who am I?” we might see a profound and radical change in the thinking of these leaders.

I have found that when I have worked with men and women in these positions and supported them in answering my question “Who are you?” I have enjoyed watching them travel slowly towards a true realisation of self. It is at this point that they have started to make a change, to really make a difference within their companies. Making and carrying out decisions that are based on power rather than force. Making a positive difference in the lives of the employees and thousands of customers of that corporation.

Much is said about corporate social responsibility; it is a phrase that is bandied about with gay abandon and in some cases a solomneous that belies the real truth, which is that most people follow and adopt the company culture, ethics, morals and values rather than expressing their own thoughts. This leads them to do things that are not congruent with their own core values.

Therefore there is a great need for all of us to get back in touch with our core values, because the truth is that in most of us these are highly commendable. It 's just a case of getting back there and re-remembering who we are.

If we are not sure of who we are right now then how much more difficult it is to try and work out who we really want to be in the future. Especially as the media does such a fantastic job of indoctrinating us into believing what we really should be. From advertisements on television we know we should all be young, slim, good-looking, tanned, without spots or glasses. From numerous magazines we learn that by paying a lot more attention to ourselves and spending lots of our hard earned money (and in some cases, yet to be earned money) we can really make ourselves young, sexually desirable, good-looking, and successful.

DO I EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?
The result of this is that we end up setting goals for ourselves that have actually been foisted on us. Not ones that are congruent with or even based on our own true core values.

For many years I believed one of the greatest coaching questions of all was “What do you want?”. This question can be asked in so many ways, you can come at it from so many angles and for several years I believed this was the question of questions.

IN CONCLUSION
However, long ago I realised that for some of the reasons stated above this is not the great question it ought to be because, as we have seen, we don't really know what we want at all.

I now know with a deep and profound sense of knowing, that there is a higher question, a more important question, a question that reaches deep down to the core. That question is “Who am I”??

You see coaching is about performing at your best through the individual and private assistance of someone who will challenge stimulate and guide you to keep growing.

Essentially it is about helping you to reach self actualisation - a point at which you not only truly know yourself but within this knowledge possess a feeling of comfort with and understanding of the person you discover.

Coaching (or if we don’t have a coach, self-coaching) is indispensable if we want to really reach our full potential, to be all that we can be, to truly reach a point of self transcendence.

Gerard O’Donovan
Managing Director Noble Manhattan Coaching
CEO - ECI (European Coaching Institute)
www.noble-manhattan.com
gerard@noble-manhattan.com
++44(0)1305 769411
www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

The International Coaching Register is for any individual who trades as a coach, who help individuals and/or organisations for example, establish a work life balance, manage stress levels and build communication skills amongst many other specialist areas.

Everyone who has qualified as a coach with a recognised coach training company should now take the opportunity to register. This will dramatically cut down on any misrepresentation that goes on within the industry. Many people have websites and call themselves a
coach but have no actual qualifications. The register will stop these people and raise the profile of genuine coaching and how it can transform people’s lives.

C.E.O. of the ECI Gerard O’Donovan said “the register has been administered by the ECI for the benefit of the world of coaching and coaching clients. It is also a great way for coaches to get business as members of the public can search for registered coaches in their area. It brings coaching transparency at last.”

As a Member of the ECI, Have you published your details on the International Coaching Register, at no charge?
To do so:

Login to the ECI Members Area, and then select the ICR Register Edits menu option on the left hand side of the screen.

Create your entry by selecting:

• Insurance - enter your Professional Indemnity Insurance details here.
  
   
• Training - enter the details of all the training courses you have completed here.
  
   
• Workshops - enter the details of all the workshops you have attended here.
  
   
• Accreditation - your ECI Accreditation details will automatically be included here. You also have the opportunity to enter the details of all the accreditations/credentials you have been awarded, as an independent verification of your coach training and experience.
  
   
• Business Details - select or enter all types of coaching you include in your Coaching Business/Practice.
  
   
• Organisation Membership Details - enter the details of all Business Organisations in which you hold a membership - these could be other Coaching Bodies, Chamber of Commerce, or any type of organisation that is appropriate to your business.
  
   
• Display - do not forget to DISPLAY your details. Selecting yes your details will be displayed on the International Coaching Register. For ECI Accredited Coaches, your details will also be displayed on the ECIs Coaching Referral programme.
  
   

We look forward to seeing you on the International Coaching Register.